When I first read this I didn't understand this very well and decided not to respond. I think I now have a better understanding and believe that the key issue here is "soft limits". Hard limits are those things that should never be done (end of story) Soft limits OTOH are things outside our usual set of interests about which we are are deeply ambivalent. Your Mistress knows you too well to violate your hard limits but she is pushing your soft limits which is creating an emotional antinomy for you.
