Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Session Pricing Structures/Tipping

I was happy to see session rates finally go up. The sat in the same place for so many years. It seems to have given some clients sticker shock when it happened all at once. But, it was long over due. With the rates having risen, do tips still play a role? Both as an independent and when had a house of domination in Columbus, Ohio with a several ladies working there, I had a no tipping policy. It was so much better to charge a flat rate upfront and get money out of the way. But, I know this wasn't the case for everyone. I'm curious what it is like today.

The houses in NYC have always been tip based. It reflects in the session price. That, from my recent experiences, hasn't changed. I have noticed that independents typically have flat rates. Either way, it doesn't matter to me. It comes out to about the same.

In my travels, I found that the femdom scene in NYC and LA were always a world of their own. It has been years since I've been there but it was always a fun place to visit. The last time I was in NYC was to rent space at Pandora's Box and shoot with Jennifer LeMonde before she retired. What an awesome young woman she was. She finished college and moved on to other things early into her career. I hope she is doing well.

Only rarely do I visit a commercial dungeon. I prefer independents. Most of the ladies I see have a flat rate. When seeing someone new I'm careful to read their website for protocol on tipping. I always bring a gift and if the Mistress's tribute is on the lower side, I tip even if she isn't expecting it.

I've never sessioned at a commercial house, only ever with independent pro Dommes. I have never tipped (nor have I ever been asked for one). I view a session as a professional service/business transaction with an agreed fee charged and a service rendered. Tipped seems inappropriate in that context much like you wouldn't think of tipping an accountant or doctor.

I started seeing independents a long time ago. I vaguely remember my last dungeon session. With independents 100% of the tribute was/is going to the Mistress. What I have done with two dominas I was a regular with is to help on projects that have nothing to do with the scene, or give non cash presents every once and awhile. The presents are based on affection and thankfulness that the Mistress in question permits me to serve and worship Her.

I have seen only independent Dommes for a long time now but I did start my submissive journey at NYC's then legendary commercial houses. I thought, in some cases very mistakenly, that houses would be safer for me when I was just starting our. Fast forward a few years, and I was committed to sessioning only with Independents and have not visited a commercial dungeon in a long time.

In my experience, Independent Dommes priced their skills and time accordingly and did not want to rely on the generosity of clients. Independent Domme websites would often note that tips were not expected but were welcome while others might say that the Domme would rather have a gift of some type rather than a cash tip. I would think that with rates now averaging $400 an hour that tipping an independent Domme would be unnecessary. Not to say that the rate isn't justified after years of languishing around the $200 - $250 an hour range. The value of anything: service , goods or property is most accurately determined by what in fact the market will pay for it. Since I haven't seen any rate reductions, I am assuming that there are plenty of clients who value a skilled independent Domme's time to be well worth $400 an hour. Or more!

I did usually tip one amazing independent Domme whose hourly rate was below market. She sessioned from her home with an amazingly well equipped dungeon and she was extremely skilled, especially with very heavy bondage scenes. She was also very generous with her time, often going beyond our usual 3 or 4 hour sessions. Other than that, I have not tipped though there was one other Domme i saw many times when she was touring in my area and while I didn't tip her, I did often take her out to a great dinner at her request/suggestion when my session was her last one scheduled.

Well put. We are of the same mind here. I have to wonder how the protocol of commercial dungeons charging less for the session rate but expecting tips came about. Assuming the commercial dungeons originated in NYC and were a bit of a cross over from flat out brothels, it makes sense. It is surprising that the tipping structure has stayed around for so long.

My experience is limited to occasional foot parties. They are tip driven. Everyone knows that going in. For me, it is all about a fun night out and a little bit of pocket change. If I was depending on this for income, it would be uncomfortable. The entire purpose of a BDSM exchange is power exchange. It is counter intuitive for the dominate to be depending on a voluntarily tip from the submissive.

I agree that a professional charging hundreds of dollars an hour should not expect to be tipped. But, it is a more intimate service than white collar professionals like accountants provide. While not the norm or expected, from what I experienced, gifts are not inappropriate. If you took your female accountant a box of chocolate or bottle of wine, that would probably wouldn't sit well. But, someone you are going to get naked in front of and exchange a deep emotional exchange...it isn't out of line.

Thanks for your response. We are of the same mind on this, especially in this economy when a lot of men are making a significant sacrifice to pay for a session.

I will confess to being extremely inconsistent when it comes to tipping. I tip one of my two current favorites nearly every session though the amount does vary considerably depending on the quality of the session. OTOH I never tip the other one after a session but I do periodically provide her with expensive gifts.

That is interesting tipping throughout a femdom session. I would have been uncomfortable with that. But, femdom is very diverse. Obviously, that works for both of you and that is what is important.