Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Evolving... Breaking Rules

My evolution as a sub over the past few months, since a major birthday, has accelerated more than I could have ever thought 20 years, 20 months or even a few weeks ago. The relationship with my longtime Mistress has changed, I’m willing to break more rules than ever before… and I’m bolder than ever before. Maybe because I’ve reached an age where I kinda know my session days may end at any time, but I’m healthy, horny and in shape now, and want to experience just about all I can imagine.

There is no longer a role play pretense of me being “tarzan” or some jungle character, wearing a loin cloth and the Mistress being the Amazon Queen. It is almost lifestyle – with a small tribute to keep it pro. I’ve begun to grope Mistress in the car at red lights & moan like an animal, and she loves it because she slaps me and laughs. Our last couple of sessions have been in her storage facility and my exhibitionistic tendencies have gone over the top. I strip quickly and all I wear is the heavy dog chain she has for me around my neck. We have to close the storage room’s door not to be seen by security, but at this point I don’t care who sees me. For me that is highly unusual.

I trust Mistress completely. She has become more dominant, becoming more of a Stud, humping me in that room, making me gag on her fingers she is sticking down my throat, spitting on me, biting and punching my chest. (I proudly have a couple of bruises on my chest from her abuse.) The last couple of sessions Mistress flashes her breasts telling me, her slut, that next time GS might be on the menu or chain bondage, while ordering me to pleasure myself. Not a bondage guy but was chained a couple of times on a cross in a dungeon years ago. Would trust Mistress ball gag me, have me sit down & chain me to a chair naked and lock me up in that storage room, during the spring or summer, and return in an hour or so, with me all sweaty and horny. Then she’d free me and would order me to get on the floor to receive her GS. Yeah… I’m over the top. One side of my brain is saying “DO IT NOW!” while the other side of my brain is telling me to “COOL IT NOW!” Don’t know what will happen. Any other subs ever feel like this? I usually have rules, but seems like I might break a few more of them soon.

I'm familiar with those kind of "more, more, more" urges. Sometimes they are great for pushing deeper into play but other times I think you need to step back and look at them dispassionately. What's the downside? Is there any danger? (either phycological or physical) do you have deep trust in your Domme to look after your best interests? Are you both on the same page?

If you can go into it with eyes wide open, risk aware and limits/guardrails firmly in place I'd say go for it! Otherwise, it's good to remember there is a reason for the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for"

I don’t know what your personal life or situation is so I will just say enjoy but be careful and don’t let your little head totally take over from the big one.

Probably thinking with the little one today. LOL! Who knows what will happen next time? Trust and rational thought should play a role.

When I first read this I didn't understand this very well and decided not to respond. I think I now have a better understanding and believe that the key issue here is "soft limits". Hard limits are those things that should never be done (end of story) Soft limits OTOH are things outside our usual set of interests about which we are are deeply ambivalent. Your Mistress knows you too well to violate your hard limits but she is pushing your soft limits which is creating an emotional antinomy for you.