Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Memorable milestones or Firsts?

Most of the Dommes on here seem to be well established and the subs mostly seem to have significant experience over a period of years.

Given the wealth of experience present here I'm curious about when you look back over your BDSM journey what firsts or milestones truly stand out in your memory and why?


For me it was many years ago with a life partner. Although it wasn't a FLR we regularly incorporated BDSM activities into our sex life. After much planning and discussion we set up and executed a session with significant elements of CNC. (We actually viewed it as more like irrevocable consent.)

She had a variety of activities to choose from and multiple paths the session might take. Other than being able to speculate on possibilities I had no way of knowing what was coming nor did I have any say over what might or might not happen once we began.



It was my first experience getting a even a partial taste of being truly powerless in a BDSM context...... albeit constrained by certain agreed limits and a set maximum time.

30+ years ago and the memories are still vivid and powerful.


edit It was my first ever experience with two releases on a single session. Having play continue in the time between the first climax and being recovered was very challenging but in retrospect, VERY hot!

furfan, your timing for this post is perfect for me. I'm sessioning this weekend with my longtime now UTR Mistress & my mind is racing with anticipation. I've often written that my first Mistress was the legendary Belle De Jour as a college kid. In my 2nd sesssion with Mistress I was asked/ordered to train a woman who wanted to work at the Mistress' dungeon. Years later that happened two more times with Belle & one more with another Mistress. It got my exhibitionist kink going. It was a tremendous turn on.

In the early '00s I met and became a regular of a dominant female bodybuilder who had me quickly kiss her feet in parking lots and stairways. I met my current Mistress, when she was active and taking on new clients, before the bodybuilder and expanded by my exhibitionist tendencies dramatically. We began to play outdoors in the city at dawn or so on weekends, usually in warm weather with me half naked in parks, industrial areas, etc. being controlled by the Mistress... before smartphones and security cameras. We have tried it again the past couple of years. It is way more limited, but still exhilarating.

In other things I thought I would never do, I was offered the chance to experience strap on play years ago, but never liked it. But in the first session with my Mistress, doing the "captured Tarzan" roleplay, she began humping me to assert superiority and control without a strap on. (While shorter than I am, she is quite athletic & strong.) She approached me about strap on play but I said it wasn't my thing. However in the past few years, because I wanted to please her, I've began to worship her strap on orally and the dynamic is such that at one point I asked her to spit on me while doing it. Being used that way is an incredible turn on.

Finally GS. This dominant female bodybuilder had to relieve herself in the middle of a session. I was in such deep subspace I asked to watch her pee. Ordered to crawl on all fours I watched & surprisingly got turned on. The next time I was in her city we talked about it for our next session. She cautiously agreed, wondering how I would handle the first time experience. Without getting into details, she consented to do it and I felt demeaned, used, objectified... I loved it. She soon retired, but when I caught up with my UTR Mistress once again a few years later the subject of GS came up. Again, without the details, it was better than the bodybuilder since with her it is euphoric like I'm being marked as property of hers. Which is what I am I guess.

Wearing a strap on was a hard limit for me early on. My Christian roots made me shudder at the thought, although I had left the faith. It seemed so perverse in a bad way. Then came the time I was visiting a dominatrix friend. We were doing photos and making a few videos. She coaxed me into just trying one on. That is like taking me to see a litter of puppies and suggesting I just hold one of them and not take it home. Of course, she gave me a giant one. I loved it. It was the freedom not to feel damned because of it and also the power of it. I still maintain there is more power in lady parts. But, it was fun to intimidate the men who had come to shoot with us. Even the photos that were taken that day were powerful. I enjoyed thinking about the reaction my fans would have from them. I must admit that, under the right circumstances, I loved using one. It wasn't just for anal play but making a man get on his knees and orally service it. I loved smacking men around with it. It was a hoot. But, I had to step over a hard line to get there which was an emotional milestone.

Mine was being what is called being broken. It wasn't something I set out for or even understood. A little after a year of having 2 to 4 hour sessions, the Domme I was seeing at the time, subtly but determinedly look me over the line where I completely surrendered. It was an emotional and physical surrender. I can't describe how it felt. Imagine every emotion inside of you being released all at once. It was as if I had let myself go. There was no resistance or ego within me. At the end of the session I was told to get on my knees at her feet. She was wearing boots standing over me. I sobbed like a baby. The experience opened the door for me to release my inner ego in other corporal sessions. It is the most memorable experience I've had with a Domme.

Wow! What a powerful experience.

That is a one in a life time type experience. Lucky you!

Your experience sounds similar to mine. My girlfriend (Now wife) introduced me to this when I was in my mid 40's. I had never given it much thought before. Now it is a big part or life. I love it, maybe even more than she does. I don't know that any other woman could gave got me to open my mind to this. She was so tricky about it too. There were subtle nuances when we were intimate that should have given me a clue as to what she was up to. Then one day, when she had lead me to being half way there, she told me what her intentions were. I've never looked back. Lucky man, I am.

I love this topic and I really love your story. For me, it was when I topped for the first time. I'd never had any desire to do it. I was fresh out of college and dating a girl who surprised me by coming into the living room wearing the cutest lingerie and carrying a wooden hair brush. She said that she had been rude at dinner, which she had, and asked me to spank her. I didn't know if I could. It was out of the blue. But, I did. I started with my hand to get her warmed up. Then I went to the paddle. It came together. We were both really turned on by the end of it. It put my head in a place of being dominant. Since then, I mostly top. It took that natural moment to bring it about.