Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Session Disappointment

Most of my sessions have been good. That one time it isn't doesn't feel good. You budget the money, build up the anticipation and then, for what? A Mistress who doesn't care or didn't represent herself correctly in photographs? I won't name names. But, put up current photos. Care about your customers. It is a lot of money to spend for disappointment. Overall, sessions have been amazing to worth the money. When it isn't, I feel like such a loser. What did I blow $450. on? Someone who isn't into it and honest about their appearance. The last experience gave me a renewed appreciation for the very good Mistresses I have had sessions with. I'm a little pissed off right now. If you don't own a single tail or have room to throw one in, just say it. If you have gained 20 pounds or are 10 years older than your photos, say it or put up recents. I wouldn't mind much about the age and weight. It is the honesty and lack of effort that kills it. The money would have been better off burned while roasting marshmallows.

I can appreciate that, especially being on the other end when I didn't read someone right. The old photos, I don't understand. But, the lack of chemistry, it happens. We all have off days or the times when we just don't connect with someone. But, that is a lot of money to have spent to be so disappointed. I have to give you kudos for not naming the dom. Some times it is no one's fault.

That sucks. It is a lot of money to be out. I've only had two sessions. The effort and excitement was there. That is what mattered. Knowing you are appreciated and the Lady is into it is important.

When it comes to a first-time session with a Mistress I've always said to think with the head on your shoulders and not the one between your legs. Over the years I've made that mistake a few times, believe me. Do your research, read reviews, carefully check out the Mistress' social media sites and website. And don't be nervous to ask the right questions - even pointed questions - when you contact the Mistress directly whether it is text, email or by phone. If you can feel in your gut that something isn't going to work with the specific Mistress, in my experience, your gut is probably correct.

It's easier than ever to do research about seeing a Mistress than say, or the pre-2000 era. After a recent session I spoke to my longtime Mistress after a session about what her first impression was of me in the late '90s, and vice versa. We met through the Personals section of a famous mainstream magazine that had four or five line ads - no pics - of independent Mistresses. We agreed those calls were an art form, today a lost art form. Subs usually called on pay phones or work phones, few of us had cellphones then. The sub had to be businesslike and polite, ask about the tribute, location, schedule etc. without sounding like a cop. And one might ask, if the Mistress didn't volunteer the info or it wasn't in the ad, what she looked like. It had to be a quick call, certainly not one that would delve to phone sex. The sub also had to figure out if the ad was a scam or if she was serious. My Mistress agreed completely, saying she would provide information about activities to be offered in a general nature, not specifics that would enter the phone sex area. The Mistress would ask what the potential sub did for a living, age, maybe looks... engage in a bit of conversation to judge if he was a cop, someone serious and not a phone freak, or someone who could be dangerous.

Today, between some high prices for top Mistresses; deposits; reference / picture requests; etc. it is tough out there. But it was, in a different way, in the pre-2000 era. There are more tools to ID which Mistresses share your interests and you can match up with successfully.

I have only had two sessions. They were both great. If I was out a lot of money and wasn't treated right, I'd feel like shit too. I'm sorry that happened. Did you contact the Mistress?

Thanks everyone for your comments and support. I'm going to lick the battle wounds and choose more carefully next time.

I get this. I tend to stay with Dommes I know and that they have a great presence on line. Website is very important and believe it or not Fetlife presence really helps. In the last 2 years I have tried 2 new dommes. I did my homework and thought pretty good about doing the session before hand and both were disappointing. It is so different than it was before and very hard to plan a session. I don't know if I will have a my kink feelings a week or two ahead.

I'm taking time off myself. I'd be kidding myself to say never again. Next time with more care and caution with booking. It shouldn't be out of line to ask for recent photos or a face time consultation. The Mistresses probably get hit up with a lot of time wasters. So, I understand their being cautious. It seems like there in an abundance of it now, to the point of being unreasonable with some of the younger ones.

Only a few of my sessions were disappointing. In one case it was all her fault. Only saw her once. Another time It was mostly my fault. Poor communication from me and running late.
The other 2x it took missteps by each of us to make a disappointing outcome. Sometimes a good mistress and a good sub can't pull off a good session.
I can't begin to count the number of sessions I've had. Most were good to great.

It has been similar with me. Most have been good to great. On the rare occasion that the Domme just doesn't care or respect my time and money, it's hard to take. It two day's pay for a two hour session for me with tax factored in. That doesn't count the time to travel and plan on how to slide my absence to my wife. The disappointment does fade faster than the reliving the great ones over and over in my mind.