Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Deposits

I've had no problem with giving deposits in advance. Reading the scam, which is coming mainly from imposter sites, is giving me hesitation. I'd have to have talk to the Domme on the phone or face time first. My wife and I do two hour couple sessions. 50% of that in advance is not a cheap date.

I've been following the discussion on DominaMs. I can't say it doesn't happen, even with well known and respected doms. But, it is incredibly rare. Most of this seems to be coming from scam imposter sites.

It's a rapidly changing marketplace. Based on what I've read, heard from Mistresses about no-shows early in this century, asking for deposits was a safe way for established dominas to make sure someone was serious about an appointment. That it has evolved into outright scamming online is not a surprise.

I've mentioned the following opinion either here, MF or the other site, namely that for me to send a deposit to a Mistress that I never met our tastes would have to be compatible. And a phone call would be important. If no phone call, I'd have to: check out her website & social media; read as many reviews of her as possible; and be comfortable with the amount of the deposit (and of course, the overall tribute).

I've only sent deposits to two Mistresses I knew very well, so well in fact that they gave me their business bank deposit number and real name, and I would go to the bank and make the deposits. (That's how I learned the appeal of serving a fin dom might be a turn-on. I'd text each Mistress after the deposits and, invariably both ladies would text me back with some suggestive remarks. LOL!)

I agree with what JB posted.

Time is money for a Domme, so I understand that they have to maximize their time to as financially successful as possible. The best way to insure their time is not wasted is to require deposits. Makes perfect sense to me.

I do not have a problem with making a deposit so long as I have confidence that they are the "real deal". It is imperative to do your homework: find reviews, read their websites and social media, even do a simple google search on the name. I think even posing a question regarding A Domme's authenticity on Domina.ms would probably get some good feedback. The deposit has to be a reasonable amount, or percentage of the total session cost and make sure you understand the Domme's cancellation policy which is almost always explained in detail on their website. Shit happens, and reputable Domme's will almost always offer some reasonable resolution in the event you have to cancel a session from which you have made a deposit.

Now having said that, I did make one exception to prepaying for a session. I had been seeing a well known Domme for a few years and we developed a pretty good professional relationship with a high degree of mutual trust. I was seeing her for 3 or 4 hour sessions so the fee was a considerable amount. Unfortunately about two weeks before the scheduled date I had to cancel a scheduled 4 hour session. This was the first time I had cancelled on her. We immediately rescheduled for the following month. She explained to me that she had been counting on the fee for some upcoming near term expenses and asked if I could send her the entire fee now and just get the session next month. I immediately said of course and I sent her the $ the very next day. I did this because I trusted her with my physical wellbeing so trusting her with a prepaid session fee was absolutely no issue for me. One month later, we had a fantastic session.

I guess the moral of the story is to session with reputable and verifiable professionals and if they require a deposit then simply cooperate with that policy. Take the time to build up some mutual trust, teat one another honestly and respectfully and everyone will win.

My experience with deposits is limited to advance tickets for foot fetish parties. We've never had any scam issues. The risk is probably higher with big name Dommes. My advise would be to follow someone on social media to get the direct scoop on travels and deposit protocols. It sounds like the imposters ask for much less and book sessions in towns the ladies aren't even appearing in.