By the weekend my long, long month will be over. My Mistress will be returning from an extended vanilla business trip where her time isn't really her own. We have exchanged emails - well I started it - but no texts, and of course no phone calls. I thought that during the month I'd catch up on a couple of my projects, but it has been problematic. I catch myself thinking about the Mistress, fantasizing and developing ideas for future adventures, thinking about new toys, outfits. I've had trouble sleeping and have caught myself daydreaming about her. It's not romantic, just physical. The good thing is I've worked out more this month to surprise the Mistress. This is on top of the fact that our sessions have reached a new level of intensity this year, with me almost not caring if I get caught half naked in her storage facility, or being seen in public being slapped in the face by Mistress or wearing that steel dog collar she has me wear in session.
I think I've crossed that hazy road from devotion to... addiction. At some point in the next few days Mistress will text me and the way I feel now I know it will be uncontrollable. My self-control is just about completely gone. Writing this I will see her, cancelling appointments, coming up with lies to spend precious time to spend with Mistress for her entertainment and my needs. I also know that this is probably unhealthy to be out of control, so I feel like it is an addiction. I don't want to admit that to Mistress, for fear of offending her. Think this is just anxiety since I haven't seen her in a month? Or have I crossed that line?
