Domspeak Forums Thread Like Summary - Pre-Session Communications

The other day I was talking to one of my long time clients and, to this day, close friends. Our first experience was such that I could tell he was very disappointed when he left. So, I reached out to talk to him about it the next day.

He had long followed my photos in the NYC publications and website. There were a lot of expectations. That was part of it. The other part that was missing was a failure in communication. Perhaps he was nervous when he was filling out the application form or...more likely...there was a better way. I asked him open ended questions and, basically, asked him toan share his feelings and experiences regarding femdom. He replied with a long and personal email. It was much better information than a box being checked off. We had a session the next week and it was magic. It continued to be that for a very long time and up until I retired from sessions. He retired from sessions too. He said he could never recapture the chemistry that we had. Fortunately, his live in girlfriend is open to kink. So, he gets to have fun.

After the failed first session, I discarded my application form. It was only open ended questions, including feelings and some subjective matters, after that. It worked well for me.

What have your pre-session experiences been like?

I always like to talk in person with a play partner. The emotional connection is important. Pre screening is important too. But it doesn't replace a human connection.

Email correspondence is better for me than the apps. JB brought up a good point in following the ladies social media profiles. I've had good luck so far.

If I didn't feel uncomfortable with the first session protocol, I'd politely walk away. Jbeast said it well. The Ladies are welcoming strangers into their home or place of business. They need to feel safe. I don't blame anyone of them for having the requirements they do. I just know what mine are as well.

As for communication after that has been established, I prefer an in person conversation. That can be formal with strict protocol or casual. I think it helps give her the tools She needs to understand her toy.

I like actual conversation over applications over forums. The need to screen out clients who aren't a good fit is understandable. I see why Dommes do that. It doesn't bother me to fill one out. I always request a live phone conversation before booking with someone new, even if I have to pay for it. Open communication has worked better for me than a punch list.