Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Difference in ProDom Scene State to State

Has anyone else noticed a difference in the prodom scene based on the general area? I started out in Columbus, Ohio. Back then there was a lot of local same day sessions. I actually loved the same day, short notice sessions. It was like kinky impromptu theater every day. The sessions weren't emotionally heavy. It was a business man or attorney looking to sneak in an hour of debauchery. When I moved to Rhode Island, there was no same day business. Local clients typically booked a week ahead. Two hours became the norm instead of an hour. There were a lot of extended sessions, from four hours to over nights. There were even occasional weekend sessions. For the most part, the play requested was more in depth emotionally and involved more elaborate bondage and Sm gear. I did have a handful of hourly clients in which the sessions were more light of heart fun. I liked it all. It was just and adjustment. The steadiness of sessions were always consistent in both states. The only time I noticed a slow spell was late August to early September, which I assumed was closing the vacation house and getting the kids back in school kind of thing.

My trips to NYC and LA were always fun but the set up and vibe was so different. It was more competitive among the doms. The sessions rooms were much smaller. It had a different vibe that is difficult to explain. While I had a great time with clients and met some worthwhile people, I got the feeling that sessions weren't such a special event to them as in other areas. Could this be because there are so many options around them on a daily basis? I got the feeling a session in NYC could be arranged as easily as ordering a pizza.

Visiting Chicago, Ann Arbor and Raleigh was interesting too. All different vibes. But, still, lots of fun. In Chicago, I'd rent a suite downtown so everything was walkable. I loved it. Such a blast. No one batted and eye in either Ann Arbor or Chicago at the coming and goings. I never felt the need to be uber discreet. Raleigh was a different story. The dom I was working with picked up clients up at a mutual meeting place, blindfolded them with a sleep mask and drove them to her place. The other doms in the area were concerned and didn't think that was discreet enough. I had no issues with scrutiny in Columbus or Providence either.

Finally, South Florida. I had made the transition from doing sessions to producing videos by then. But, my dom friends who were and still are active in sessions, told me the market experiences long times of no to slow sessions. That makes sense as Florida has so many snow birds. But, for all of the wealth there, I'd think the full time locals would more than make up for it. There are few options for doms in Florida, in general. But, the ones who have dungeons there are top notch.

Just my ramblings on how different the vibes are from state to state. I'd love to hear other posters experiences.

Lady Cheyenne, your experience in this area is far more varied than mine, since the overwhelming majority of my sessions were (are) in the NYC area over the years. Yes, over the decades, getting a session here “could be arranged as easily as ordering a pizza.” (A real NYC pizza and not from one of those doughy items from national chains. LOL!) Beginning in the ‘70s to at least the early ‘00s BDSM was flourishing in Manhattan, and the dungeons and independent Mistresses supported at least a couple of now bygone S&M publications with their ads for sessions. From the ‘70s into the ‘90s there was plenty of open space in the West 20s and 30s for “artists,” locations that were previously light manufacturing buildings, for dungeons. Independents could get large studio apartments, to live and session out of, or just for sessions. And, from what I read and heard, the NYPD didn’t really take notice until the Giuliani administration came on board when the first wave of developers swooped in to snap up these buildings. (That was not a coincidence.)

I’ve been in and out of the scene for years at a time since college, but the ‘90s was the last time I really took chances and went to dungeons. I began to prefer independents and my original Mistress Belle de Jour was only managing / owning one dungeon part time, and for privacy. Independents became my thing and the scene spread to Queens, Brooklyn and Jersey City by the late ‘90s and 2000 due to rising rents and maybe NYPD. I only had one hour sessions, too cheap I guess to go longer. My longer sessions were those handful of occasions I was brought in as a cleaning sub a couple of times for independents, or I was the sub for a Mistress training session. And I can’t remember when I had a dungeon session, but that’s more about me than the scene here.

My memories of LA in the ‘90s/‘00 was like NYC: hour sessions and you could call the night before a session, or the same day, and get one. Strangest dungeon session I ever had was in LA, a large facility, had security cameras in the room they told you about before session in so nothing “illegal” would happen. (Great equipment and props, but kept looking over my shoulder. Lousy session.) Based on Eros.com circa 2000 and pics of parades, etc. I thought San Francisco was the capital of BDSM in the U.S. Might have been, but I had just two sessions there and the place seemed quiet. You had to call a day or two in advance.

Vegas was, and probably still is, a tough place for BDSM. I was a regular with a dominatrix there (and when she came to NYC) and to do sessions with her I had to meet her without making eye contact, just to be around in case hotel or police security got suspicious. Nothing ever happened. Had a session with a domina/porn star in Vegas once, she was hesitant until we found out we were at the same hotel and I was a few floors away from her. LOL! Finally Florida. I had three sessions there over the years, in and around Orlando. One at my hotel, the other two at theirs. Two of the ladies traveled there thinking it would be great for BDSM. It wasn’t. For us to get to the hotel room from the lobby was difficult also. The other lady was a domina/bodybuilder and she lived nearby, but explained most of her sessions were traveling. The hotbed of BDSM in Florida seems to be around Tampa/St. Pete and on the east coast from Ft. Lauderdale or so to down the coast.

My career has on on the road or in the air every week. I've had the privilege of seeing Dommes all over the country. The biggest difference I've seen is the availability for short notice sessions. Larger cities with houses usually provide this. While I've had good sessions at houses, my preference in an independent. That usually takes scheduling in advance. Once established, I've been able to get in with short notice. When it comes to discretion and security protocol, I haven't found that to be based on location as much as personal preference. Dommes in suburbs or rural areas tend to be more personable and relaxed than those in bigger cities. This isn't a knock to anyone. I love it all.