Domspeak Forums Discussions Lobby Orgasm at the End of a Session?

For me, I enjoy a self release at the end of a session. Being given permission for this with Mistress's bare or stocking feet in my mouth or resting on my face is perfect conclusion. Next month I will be visiting a new Domme. I'm very excited to have found myself traveling through her area on business. I was surprised that part of her pre-session questionnaire was whether or not I wanted a self release at the end of our time. I have never been asked this question. It has always been unspoken. Out of curiosity, do the subs here expect or want a release at the end?

Great question.

Time flies, but it has been awhile since I sessioned with someone new. One Mistress, an Amazonian fitness trainer/athlete who didn't live in my city, at the end nothing happened. It was our first session she offered (ordered?) to lift my then 225 lbs. or so in her arms, walk across her hotel room with me, and threw me on the bed. She then body scissored me. I was physically and emotionally in deep subspace almost immediately. I was too intimidated to ask to pleasure myself as time ran out. A couple of hours later I called the Mistress back I asked permission to pleasure myself. She was pleased by my request and purred on the phone, "Text me when you have completed your task, my pet" and hung up the phone. Another time we met in S.F. She was on tour and I was at a convention. It was an epic late afternoon/early evening session, ending with me giving her full body worship. When I requested to pleasure myself in front of her, the Mistress said no, she was too tired. I went back to my hotel aroused and, again in deep subspace. I had a restless night and, getting some courage, texted her early the next morning saying what I great time I had and if I could pleasure myself. She called me back and seductively approved, telling me I should do so immediately to start the day, and hung up the phone.

I can't tell you how refreshed I felt at the convention that day after performing my task, LOL! I called her from the airport that night, since I was taking the red-eye home, and we really had a laugh about it. Her motto, whenever I asked too many questions about planning our once or twice a year sessions, Mistress would say, "Anticipation my pet, anticipation. That's the key."

For me, it is essential. And I always discreetly ask when negotiating a session. If they say no, then I thank them for their time and move on. Or, one time, said there was an up charge of $200 on top of an already robust rate for a self-release! I thanked her but declined the session. She asked why, I explained, and we parted ways on friendly terms.

I am not inclined to see a mistress who doesn’t allow or encourage it.

I've always assumed that there would be a self release. Even in private play with a Mistress I've been serving on a personal level, there is that reward. It would feel incomplete without it.

Anticipation can be a real turn on. I didn't understand the lure of chastity training until a Domme convinced me to try it. Maybe it is all about knowing what to expect and get your mind adjusted for.

An upcharge for self release? That is egregious. I can see it in a tease and denial setting. But, for a straight forward session, I would have politely bowed out too.

I lean toward 4 hour sessions and no less than 2. At the end of a 2 hour, it has always been a given. I haven't had anyone ask either. A hour 4 hour changes it up, especially with a Domme who knows you. Some times there is one around the halfway point at rest time and another one at the end. It is an important factor to me. I saw Oliver Cromwell's post here and agree. I wouldn't pay more for it and wouldn't consider it negotiable.

My experience as a busy prodom was that at least 90% of men want and expect to self release at the end of a session. It can be awkward when they do not want to but it is suggested or instructed and they politely decline. I'm just guessing but maybe that is why the question is on the form.

I'm firmly in the yes camp on this one. It is an integral part of any session for me. I'd choose another Domme if it wasn't part of the session. I am a little surprised at the repeated references to "self" release. My experiences over the years in both the US, UK and Canada have overwhelmingly involved teasing/edging via application of something like a Hitachi Magic Wand, application of lube or use of some sort of a masturbation sleeve while restrained either lying down, secured in a bondage chair or in a sleep sack.

Is this really that uncommon in the US scene or if it just like the first rule of fight club?

Cheyenne,

Your number astonishes me for how large it is. Surely you are right about why it is on the form. In my experience, sometimes the domme enjoys doing it or uses a vibrator. Those experiences are special because I can remain fully and totally bound and have no control over how or when it happens.

I have been sessioning for about 40 years. For the vast majority of sessions it was always self release or some sort of stimulation by the Domme. I always expected it one way or another although one Domme I loved would sometimes send me home with instructions before I was allowed to self release.

One exception was a Domme I saw for the first time about five years ago. We had a great first session but when we were done she just held me and gave me some great aftercare but there was no release. I don’t remember if I was disappointed or not but it wasn’t a big deal. I saw her probably about 10 times over the next few years and there was never a release. I never brought it up with her but I wondered if she was like this with everyone. I meant to ask her if I was ever going to be allowed to release but never did and life changed for me and it was harder and harder to schedule and we lost touch.

Speaking generally about release I think back in the 80s 90s 00s there was a lot more release at the figurative or literal hand of the Domme and but nowdays it seems to be more self release.

Surprisingly it makes little difference to me. Up until 2008 most but not all of my sessions ended with one. Since then only a few have ended with an orgasm. I have always left that up to the whims of the mistress and my two favorites in recent years don't want that. There was another who was favorable but that was because she was very much into making slaves eat their cum. The one instance where it made a big difference was with a Domme that I sessioned with many times in 2007-2008. When I was masturbating at the end of my second session I politely asked her to pinch my nipples. She did so eagerly. The next session she eagerly did so without being asked. I made eye contact and it did not bother her. indeed she seemed pleased. It became a very pleasing ritual for both of us.

I'm going to the deep end of the pool today, because it has been a stinking rainy day. In all the sessions I've ever had I anticipated an orgasm, wanted and / or needed it. The major exception was the Amazonian fitness trainer/athlete I mentioned earlier. For all of my sessions with her I pleasured myself, she never touched me that way. However I was expected to pleasure her and she was the first that got me into GS. Amazing woman and true dominatrix.

Between the decades I sessioned, the types of dominant women I've served (especially with traditional Mistresses) self pleasuring has been my experience. However chemistry and length of time knowing a dominant woman, getting help from the Mistress - and then some - has happened. And it was glorious.

Just to complicate the options, I've sometimes been forced to an orgasm partway through an extended session (while under strict orders not to cum) and then again at the very end.......but that's more about CNC play and a whole other topic

Orgasms don't always have to just be about the sub's pleasure. They can also come at a price.

I can understand the appeal of having a dom controlled release while in bondage. When I was traveling a lot and visiting other studios, I noticed that most had Hitachi vibrators. So, it must not be uncommon. Having come into prodomming in Columbus, Ohio where adult businesses were under continual legal scrutiny, I had to operate on the side of caution, especially having other women on staff. In Rhode Island, anything was permitted. It was great to be able to incorporate strap on and gs play into sessions. But, for some reason, I was never asked for a dom controlled release. I wouldn't have minded with a vibrator and bondage as it seems a natural fit. Club Dom and Subby Hubby have a made forced orgasm videos. As I remember, they sold well.

When I've played with men, the orgasm is end of the session. They are one and done. With women, if you can get them past the second orgasm, they become energizer bunnies and want to keep on playing and having subtle releases at they go. It can be a lot of fun but exhausting for the top.

One of the problems with having an orgasm is the "post nut clarity".

It doesn't happen to me as much these days, but when I was younger it would hit me sort of bad.

What is "post nut clarity"? I'm no neurologist, but I'm pretty sure it's some sort of rapid change in brain CHEMISTRY right after the last little twinge of orgasm goes away. It doesn't always happen, but it happened to me a lot. Seems to happen to men. I don't think it happens with women, they are on a whole different system.

The post nut clarity experience can range anywhere from "OK, back to normal now" to "oh. dear. god. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?"
For me, it was usually a 0 to 180 turn around.

Here's typically how it works:

Horney takes over. Literally for HOURS... maybe even DAYS, horney can dominate a mind. There are times I CRAVE and OBCESS about sex and more so kinky sex.

"HOLY SHIT this is SO FUCKING HOT!! Uggnnnnphhh... OH GODDESS... Yes... Goddess. I'm your little puppy fuck slut! I've been BAD Goddess! Whip my ass. I'm not worthy of pussy. PLEASE allow me to hump my inflatable sheep like the good little bitch I know I can be!"

And she allows me to rub my cock on the sheep even though I'm unworthy. It's not long before SPURT...

And then Mother Nature laughs and says, "You like humiliation, huh? Be careful what you wish for."

And before you can say "cumupance", Mother Nature snaps her fingers and brain chemistry fucking changes instantly. Everything turns a complete 180.

The clarity sets in. "Fuuuuuuuck, that's a lot of cum. Oh god my balls hurt. Fuuuuck... Oh God, I have to hose out the plastic sheep. AGAIN.

"And I CAN'T BELIEVE I paid $190 for this crotchless leather jock strap with matching collar and cuffs. It looks fucking ridiculous next to my pale skin tone. Ohhhh... Gaddammn... OK... Dammit. How does this unbuckle?"

"Wait... Help me get this damn thing out of my ass. OK... I'll hold onto the bolted wall grips, PLEASE pull the plug out. On three. Ready? One... Two... AAAuugghh. Dammit that hurt."

"Nothing is sexy. Nothing is fun. Everything is shit. I just wanna sleep. Turn off the Enigma music... I just want to sleep."

So... Orgasms aren't always a good thing.

PNC one of the main reasons I like tease and denial and chastity. Chastity allows me to ride the FUCKING HOT wave forever. No agony of PNC to deal with if ya don't spurt on an inflatable sheep.

I think now that I am older, Post Nut Clarity still hits me... but I just laugh at it's attempts to embarrass me.

"Ha! Yes! Yes... I like freaky tiki sex. I like kink. So what? We are consenting adults in the private. The bitch suit is MINE. I paid for it an own it, as is the inflatable sheep, the dildo, the butt plugs (all 8 of them), the swing, all the grapefruits were non-GMO certified organic. The feather duster is disposable. The orangutan is not a real animal, it's just a stuffed animal with mechanical arms that wave around and a mechanical mouth that does all the laughing. No pets were harmed during the sexual encounter. I'm happy with who I am dammit. Now let's shut all these cameras off so I can go to fucking sleep.

That is hilarious. It is the same with me. I just never looked at it in that way.