I don't think this is a question where we can apply social mores or rules of polite society. It's ours to decide and to balance our interests with the possible consequences. No relationships are the same.
If someone comes with his wife once to show her what it was about then never returns, I'd say that his wife had some effect on that fact.
Who knows what.
But things changed.
Maybe he wanted to make a change: not necessarily consciously but somehow he put out enough info to make his wife aware that something was going on. It may not even be about bdsm. Seeing her husband naked in front of a fabulous looking woman could easily be enough to change everything.
It's like the title of that website, "limited audience". A Domme has to handle an infinite array of interests. If her husband dressed up as Little Bo Peep and sang the libretto from Pirates of Penzance while standing barefoot on frozen lamb chops, she might react one way, but seeing him tied to a post being whipped may be another thing.
But how would she react?
Maybe she had bad deeams about sheep and was more upset with that than seeing corporal punishment being applied. I mean look what it did to Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs... Or maybe, on the other hand, that Selina Kyle catsuit with the whip she wore last Halloween could take on a new significance.
Who knows. I barely know what's going on in my head and haven't a clue how anyone else processes info.
A Domme once asked me when she was upset with me for reasons known only to her that if I am a masochist, isn't emotional pain as significant as physical pain? She quickly retreated from that position but I will never forget it. Transferring the application of physical pain from a Domme to emotional pain from his wife may have been his pinnacle of endorphin flow and exactly what he wanted.
