Cheyenne, I enjoyed your post on how you moved through your own stages of being increasingly comfortable with increasingly intense play. I was under the impression that Dommes had little difficulty in ramping up their play styles since they were not on the receiving end of the play. I can see now how narrow minded that attitude was, as I imaging it was emotionally challenging to physically hurt or engage in play that society might find abusive and abnormal. I can see where it would take some time and experience for a Domme to feel comfortable in that role.
I certainly worked my way through my own comfort zone over time. My first play experiences consisted of light bondage, NT and some light CBT. Over time the NT and CBT became intense, including play piercing and heavy electrical play. I think more importantly I developed great trust in the Dommes I was seeing, one a very experienced professional and one one personal RL. Each of them encouraged me to expand my play and to be open to new things. That led to anal and strap on play, very heavy bondage, GS and impact play (flogging, paddling and single tail). Every time I tried something new, I loved it and am now greedy for new experiences. I have a short list of things I would like to experience. Of course while my play activities became more intense, so did my trust and adoration for the 2 amazing Ladies. I wanted to do what they suggested because I trusted them implicitly and desperately wanted to please them.
Another influence in moving through my comfort zone was a gift from another amazing Domme. I played a number of time with Mistress Troy Orleans. MTO wanted her subs to play with a positive attitude. She called this playing from YES, and MTO had a very well written blog post on her website defining what that meant to her. While I have not played with her in some time, I still to this day try to always remember her advice to be open to new experiences and to give your Domme the gift of playing from an attitude of YES!
I think we subs move through our comfort zone incrementally and into more intense play when we feel safe, unjudged and connected to our trusted Dommes. At least that's how it has been for me !
Thanks for starting an interesting thread, I have enjoyed the comments.
